Adultery & Marital Infidelity
Infidelity is a breach of good faith that applies in a number of contexts. In the context involving a close relationship, infidelity is referred to as cheating, which is 'any violation of the mutually agreed-upon rules or boundaries of a relationship'. It does not require sexual behavior to qualify as infidelity. The definition of what constitutes an act of infidelity varies between and within cultures.
Although the definition of "adultery" seems to differ in nearly every legal system, the common theme is sexual relations outside of marriage, in one form or another, or when one spouse deserts the other for a third person.
Marital Infidelity - The Facts
Another term for marital infidelity is adultery. The facts about marital infidelity (sexual unfaithfulness to a spouse) are astounding. Polls show that although 90% of married people disapprove of extramarital relationships, statistics from a national survey indicate that 15% of wives and 25% of husbands have experienced extramarital sexual affairs. These numbers increase by 20% when emotional affairs and sexual relationships without intercourse are included. New information suggests that 60% of husbands and 40% of wives will have an affair at some time in their marriage. The New Encyclopedia Britannica reports that, "adultery seems to be as universal and, in some instances, as common as marriage." Whether you've been married for 30 days or 30 years, you're never really immune to an extramarital affair.
Now with the growing influence and availability of the Internet has only made things worse, with as many as one in 10 Internet users reporting that they are addicted to cybersex or other online temptations
Internet infidelity - Online Infidelity is wrecking many relationships
With technology ruling our world it is little wonder that it would enter into areas we never dreamed possible. Ten years ago would you have ever thought it possible to pursue a relationship with someone, or even fall in love, sight unseen? But that is exactly what is happening for too many - over the Internet. And while there is nothing wrong with Internet dating, it takes on a whole new meaning when it comes in the way of an existing relationship.
In fact, Internet Infidelity has actually been cited as a reason for divorce in many cases. It is the sign of a new trend in how online relationships have assumed a new importance in today's world. So is it really harmful?
There are some (mostly the ones indulging in it) who take the point of view that it is harmless - after all you're just having a conversation with someone, nothing more. But is that all there is to it? There are others whose opinion is that as long as you are spending time, sometimes hours, with another individual of the opposite sex, discussing personal details, even flirting or conversing with sexual undertones, as “not” crossing the line. Is this behavior totally innocent?
And just like an alcoholic or a substance abuser who starts with a few drinks or a trial experiment, chatting and emails lead to exchange of photographs, calls and finally meetings. And very soon it has become a full-blown affair. Internet infidelity has crossed geographical boundaries too where those involved have been willing to negotiate distances and contend with secretly meeting without their spouses' knowledge, to take the relationship one step further. The innocent affair has now crossed the marital line to infidelity.
The following are basic indicators that can lead to marital unfaithfulness.
- Looking for ego boosts outside your marriage. Men tend to turn to extramarital liaisons to build up their self-image or sexual self-esteem. Women are suspect to affairs to satisfy their longing for love, appreciation and tenderness.
- Neglecting to talk openly with each other. If you or your spouse, only talk about the bills and household chores, you may be sliding into trouble. Keep an eye out for signs of holding in thoughts and feelings in your relationship.
- Resisting conflict resolution. Every couple runs into communication rough spots. Are there unspoken walls between you and your spouse? Some people mask their hurt while others spew their emotions. Neither method is constructive. Both ways create relational roadblocks. Unresolved conflict leads to isolation and leaves you vulnerable to fleeing your marriage.
- Discounting fun and relaxation together. Think of the last time you and your spouse enjoyed a date or a weekend getaway together. As the old adage says, "Couples that play together stay together." Beware if career, family and home responsibilities are crowding out laughter and friendship with your spouse.
- Increasing the time you spend apart. The demands of work travel, ill children or differing interests and hobbies are common issues that can keep couples apart. The more time you spend away from your spouse, the greater temptation to drift in your relationship.
- Allowing daily stresses and fatigue to sabotage your intimacy. Packed schedules and raising children are two common reasons husbands and wives feel ho-hum in their relational intimacy. All marriages require times of refreshing and an in-depth look at intimacy saboteurs.
- Letting your love life fizzle instead of sizzle. Familiarity and boredom can creep into any marriage. Beware of shaking things up in your sex life by dumping your spouse for another more promising lover. If your partner is suddenly disinterested in sex with you, this can lead to the desire for someone else.
- Giving in to predictability. A little mystery can go a long way in adding spice to your marriage. Many couples succumb to affairs out of fading interest in their spouses. If you think your spouse is feeling this way, keep a watchful eye that they are not looking elsewhere to spice things up.
- Living in denial. Pretending that problems do not exist in your marriage will only widen the gap between you and your spouse. Many extramarital affairs start when a frustrated spouse searches for a reality check in marriage by turning to an officemate or friend of the opposite sex for support. One thing may lead to another.
- Failing to resist come-ons and temptations. In our over-sexed world, even the most innocent husband or wife can fall prey to sexual temptations. Is your mate getting into a compromising situation? Do you find your spouse in after-work soirees, certain hotels on business trips and reading sexually explicit magazines, movies or television shows? Thinking "Just this once," can lead to a lifetime of regret.
We understand that dealing with the fact your spouse or significant other may be having an affair is both physically and emotional stressful, we promise to be very discreet and diplomatic when working for you to find out the truth. Finding out the “truth” is the key word here. We want to give you peace of mind, and knowing the truth, whether good or bad, will put an end to the stress of “not knowing”. If you find yourself in a situation that requires our services, we are only phone call away (206) 931-4999.